For the last few years, I have been in a great relationship. My boyfriend is everything I could possibly want in a guy. He is confident, caring, successful, and generous. Plus, he is damn good looking. I am content for the most part, except for the monogamy.

The relationship I had before him was open. I enjoyed the freedom of being allowed to date and have sex with other guys, but that was also what ended the relationship. I know that if my current boyfriend started seeing someone else or even just fucked casually, I’d be a jealous mess. I guess I am selfish. I want it all for me but not for him.

Porn has started bringing back a lot of memories for me. Take Giovanni Rose for example. I have watched him inside GayRoom.com. He looks so much like a guy I was flirting with before I went monogamous. Now I will never know what it could have been like to fuck him. What sort of faces and noises he would have made for me. It’s bittersweet.

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